The Worlds Strictest Parents Cullen Style
by SparklieeFairy
Summary: Emmett and Jasper had signed evreyone up to 'The Worlds Strictest Parents' a reality show. Now Alice must throw her designer clothes away, evreyone must dress like a goth, Rosalie and Alice must slide through mud, no sex, there not allowed outside the house so no hunting. How will they survive in a house of humans, and a starving newborn?
1. Chapter 1

I watched as Carsile walked into the front room, hand in hand with Esme. I felt Edward stiffen. He obviously knew what was going on.

Carsile looked around at us all, I sat snuggled up to Edward on the sofa, Nessie and Jake were next to us, Jake gently playing with Ness' hair. Alice was on the floor, leaning against Jaspers legs, and Emmett sat on the armchair, with Rosalie perched on his lap.

"No Esme you can't! No! There gonna take my clothes, and make me slide through mud, and dress like a goth!" Alice suddenly said sobbing.

"Whats happening?" I ask worried.

"Esme and Carsile are sending us away! To live with horrible strict parents that like mud slides, and dressing like goths!" Alice said still sobbing into Jaspers shirt.

"Can someone please explain probably!" Jake said confused.

"Were not sending you away, we didn't even register you for this show!" Esme said, hugging Alice.

"Then who was it?" Edward said obviously knowing exactly what was happening.

"Wait, look can you explain what someone has registered us for, and why Alice is crying, please." Jake huffed.

"Emmett has signed you all up to the reality show 'The Worlds Strictest Parents.' " Carsile said, trying to stop himself from laughing.

"What!" Rosalie shrieked, jumping from his lap.

"It will be fun!" He said grinning. "Anyway, it was mine and Jaspers idea! Give him some credit too!"

"YOU THINK THAT LIVING WITH THE WORLDS STRICTEST PARENTS WILL BE BLOODY FUN!? IS YOUR MIND COMPLETELY FUCKED!?" Rosalie shrieked.

"Crap, I didn't think of that when I signed us up." Emmett said.

"Then what where you thinking?" Edward said.

"The money, you get paid £100!" He said.

"What the hell Emmett, your all rich, you could have just asked Carsile for a hundred bucks!" Jake shouted.

"You think £100 is worth spending three weeks with the worlds strictest parents!?" Edward said.

"I did at the time.." Emmett said quietly.

I let out a muffled laugh, he could have just asked Carsile, can he really be that stupid? Obviously, yes.

"Calm down guys, let's hear him out." Esme said quietly.

"Who did up you pick?" I asked.

"Huh?" Emmett said dumbfounded,

"Well they only normally do two kids at a time." I said.

"I know they wanted a bigger family this time." He said. "I thought it fitted us to a P!" He said.

"What?" Alice said through tears.

"I think you mean to a T Emmett." Carsile said.

"Right." He said.

"What does the letter say?" Nessie piped up, pointing to the large white envelope that Carsile held in his hand.

He pulled open a blank DVD, and a letter, he read out the letter first.

_"Dear Dr Carsile Cullen and Esme Cullen, _

_We are delighted to inform you, your family have been selected for the the last episode of The Worlds Strictest Parents! We have enclosed a DVD of the family that your children will be going to, and a copy of your family entree video that you sent us, as well as eight plane tickets for your children. A company limo will be arriving at your house six hours before the departure time; Friday April 14th at 11 am to escort your family to the airport, where they will travel to Michigan. If you have any further quires please feel free to contact us. We look forward to meeting you, and hope that this experience will benefit your family. _

_Thank you, and see you on the 14th."_ He read out.

"Emmett, you do realise we're going to be living with humans for three weeks!"

"Duh!" Emmett said, "oh crap!" He said.

"Well lets see the video you sent them!" Esme said, slipping the DVD into the DVD player.

"Hi, I'm Dr Carsile Cullen, a local doctor in Forks. I live with my wife Esme Cullen." A voice said imitating Carsile's voice. The video showed Esme rocking gently back and forth on a rocking chair, reading, she looked up and smiled.

"I have eight troubled and out of control children. So I hope this will change there behaviour!" The voice said, the camera was led outside into the garage.

"This is my daughter Rosalie, and my son Emmett, they both have a intense love for cars. Rosalie has a mean streak, and attitude issues she can be moody and bitter, but is very caring _sometimes_," I laughed as sometimes was emphasised, "especially with kids, and shares a unique bond with my youngest daughter Renesmee, whom you shall meet soon. Emmett is my favourite, and is very strong, and handsome." The voice, that was quite a good copy of Carsile's voice but was obvious to us that it was Emmett said, pointing to Emmett who waved. I laughed, and Rosalie was the vain one...?

The camera was led back into the house, and into the front lawn, where Renesmee was running around playing soccer in Jacobs jersey. I remember that day, it was only two weeks ago, it also showed me, Edward and Jake playing soccer. Renesmee kicked the ball into the net, and jumped up and down excitedly as she scored, her long brown hair was plaited and it reached her waist.

"That is my youngest daughter Renesmee she is 14, that is my son Jacob he is 16 and has terrible anger management issues, and can't control his anger, as with his brother Jasper. Bella is 17 and had suicidal issues, she tried to kill herself but we took her under our wing, Edward is my eldest and is 18, he has a alcohol addiction and is very moody because of it.

The camera was then led into the front room, where Jasper sat reading a book, and Alice was reading a fashion magazine.

"This is my son Jasper, that I mentioned earlier, he too as anger management issues, and cannot control his anger." "

I heard that!" Jasper growled throwing a pillow, which made the camera shake, 'Carsile' chuckled. But it was obvious Jasper was in on the act.

"Alice, had mental issues, and believes she can see the future, hence that fact she was in a mental asylum a few years back, she has a intense love for shopping but that has recently become a issue, and she often steals money, and our credit cards." Alice looked up and laughed.

"This is my... Er... Wonderful? Family." The voice said, and then it went black.

"EMMETT YOU MADE ME SOUND LIKE A GRUMPY TEENAGER TEENAGER WITH ATTITUDE PROBLEMS!" Rosalie shouted.

"Yeah but you are blondie." Jacob said cockily, Edward laughed, as with Emmett.

"Jacob, shut up." Rosalie hissed.

"Rosalie, do not be rude, and Jacob please keep your comments to yourself." Carsile said, sighing.

"You made us all sound like looneys." I said.

"I had to otherwise we wouldn't get picked!" Emmett moaned.

"Exactly, we're hardly out of control teenagers!" Nessie said.

"Yeah, but we get to be, we can have a little fun with this!" Emmett said laughing.

"No, were just gonna embarrass ourselves on television!" Alice said bursting into more tears.

"Maybe, it will benefit us all...?" Nessie commented, which sounded more like a question.

"I'm sure we can just call them, and explain the circumstances, and ask not to do it?" Esme said gently rubbing Alice's back. Alice looked up, and instantly stopped crying.

"Yeah! Let's call them now! Alice said jumping to her feet.

I let out a sigh of relief, I really didn't want to be on TV, and embarrass our family and myself.

I notice Emmett he's looking around the room uncomfortably, and not meeting anyone's eyes, he looks worried and keeps moving about.

"Emmett." Edward growled.

"Yes?" He squeaked.

"What aren't you telling us?" He growled louder, and angrier. "Oh crap." Edward said obviously reading Emmett's troubled mind.

"I made a deal with them..." Emmett said gulping.

"Emmett." Jasper growled.

"For an extra £10 I signed a contract saying we wouldn't cancel/quit." Emmett said. "Anyway, Jasper you helped me, it was both of our ideas!" Emmett said.

"Jasper!" Alice shouted.

"Were going to have to do it then." Carsile signed.

* * *

**A/N - This idea, just suddenly came to me, I hope you like it & Please review, if I have five reviews I will update by Monday! :D **


	2. Chapter 2

**Edwards POV**

* * *

"Okay, well were going to need to make some basic rules, that you guys have to follow, I don't want you all to embarrass our family." Carlisle said sternly.

"Yes, I have to agree." Esme said nodding her head.

"What are they then?" Alice sniffed.

Carlisle and Esme pondered for a few minutes, and then broke the silence. I moaned; I already knew what they were and wasn't happy about one or two of them.

"Absolutely no sex what so ever."

"Carlisle that's not fair!" Emmett said

"You think I'm not being fair?" He asked raising his eyebrows, 'All of you apart from Ness and Jake are 'high school students', and although you may be adopted, people will think you are still brothers and sisters. What would people think if they knew you were having sex each other. What do you think people will think of me allowing you all to do so, do you want to move again?" Carlisle said, taking a seat with Esme on the opposite sofa.

"Fine." We all grumbled, from what I could hear in peoples thoughts, they were all planning on ways to get around that.

"Did you hear that Emmett and Rosalie, No sex, I wonder how you'll survive!" Jake said, I laughed, it was true.

"No wonder you don't care, your still a virgin!" Emmett said back, even though I knew this was because he didn't want to anger me or Bella I laughed even so.

"No he isen't!" Nessie said, quickly covering her mouth with her hand.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen!" I growled, 'and you Jacob!" I said.

"We'll discuss this later." Bella said.

"Well done mate for holding out so long, congrats on doing it though!" Emmett said slapping Jacob on the back.

"Emmett!" I growled. Rosalie gave him a menacing look.

"We still have to go to school though." Jasper said kissing Alice, and smirking slightly. I didn't need to read his mind, to know he was thinking of places around the school to have sex in. Alice giggled slightly. It wasn't the first time Jazz and Alice, or Rosalie and Emmett had skipped classes for sex.

"No sex, Not inside there house, not in the school you'll be sent to, not in your cars, NO SEX!" Carlisle said, obviously knowing we had devious and sex mad minds.

"No show of affection, you cant appear to be married, or in a relationship with any one of your siblings." Esme said carrying on.

"Be on your best behavior!" Esme said, "I don't want the whole world to think I cant raise my children properly."

"Esme, were on the show, for being the worst teenagers, we have to be on our worst behaviour!" Nessie pointed out.

"Well, don't do anything outrageous." Carlisle said sighing. I could tell he and Esme were confused on what to say, and what rules to set, not just from there minds.

No one really said anything for a few minutes, it was completly silent.

"Why don't we watch the DVD they sent us, about the other family?" Bella piped up, breaking the awkward silence.

Everyone nodded, and Jasper put it in the allocated slot, and hit play on the remote.

"Hi, I'm Michael, and this is my wife Kate and were from Michigan!" The man said, they stood outside a small white house. The whole family where dressed in dark clothes, in a gothic style. The camera followed them as they walked inside.

"We have been together for 23 years, I an 36 and Kate is 32. We have three kids, Ava, Lily and Mark, Ava is 6, Lily is 14, and Mark is 16. We believe in strict parenting, chorus are a deffinate, they are each given £1 a week if they are well behaved. I believe that I am here for children, and we are great parents, but we are NOT friends of our children." The man said, walking around the house, almost all of the rooms had some gothic scenery or decoration going on, and all the rooms were either black, dark purple, brown or white. The family waved, and then the DVD finished.

It was quiet again, and everyone was just thinking of how much hell it we going to be living with this family.

Esme let out a laugh, and immeaditly tried to cover it.

"Whats so funny?" Jake said, his arm protectively around Ness' I was glad he protected and loved and cared for Renesmee very much, but I couldn't help wishing my daughter wasn't growing up so fast; and I knew Bella, and almost all the family felt the same. She looked almost our age in only five years! I was erupted from my thoughts, By Carlisle.

"Well you got yourselves into this mess, and now you have to suffer without punishment from us. It just seem's funny. You keep blaming us though, when it really had nothing to do with us! It was entirely Emmett and Jaspers faults!" Carlisle said, a smirk on his face.

I knew everyone felt that it was unfair, but I couldn't help but agree with him.

"Well we better pack, were leaving tomorrow night." Ness said standing up from Jacobs grip.

"If I have to go, I'm packing for you Bella." Alice said standing up, suddenly excited on the prospect of clothes.

"What, its Emmett's fault, why do I have to suffer?" Bella said, and again I couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Because I'm going to suffer the most on the hell trip!" Alice snapped, I jumped, she hardly ever snapped.

"Sorry." She mumbled instantly regretted it.

"Its fine." Bella said smiling.

"And anyway, I don't want you wearing tracksuits, or not designer clothes whilst were on television!" Alice said jokingly.

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"Alice, most of the clothes you packed are yours...?" I said trailing off. She immediately appeared.

"I know, but I saw that the mum is only going to take mine and Rosalie's clothes, so I need you to pretend there yours!" Alice said her eyes going wide, I knew she was trying to make sure I didn't object, and I hated that it always worked - always.

"Why don't you just pack them in yours, and then hide them?" I asked, raising my eyebrows, trying to resist Alice's pleads, and eyes she made at me.

"Because I need to pack 'fake' clothes, that I've already worn so that that bitch can burn them thinking there my actual clothes!" Alice said, annoyed that it wasn't obvious.

"But I have hardly any space for my clothes!" I argued, even though I knew that Alice would win the argument anyway.

"So, you don't care about what you wear as much as I do!" Alice said, obviously shocked that I cared about space for my clothes.

"Alice!" I said trying to be annoyed, but I and Alice knew I didn't really care.

She swiftly walked out of my room, knowing that I wouldn't chase after her. I moaned, I really need to stop letting Alice win these arguments.

I looked at the alarm clock it was already eleven, at night. Edward quickly came into our bedroom.

"Its our so called last night of sex, so lets use it." He said, kissing my neck, as distracting as that was.

"I cant last that long without sex!" I moaned.

"Neither can I, but we'll find a way." He said, kissing me, he pulled back gently, "We'll find a way." he repeated, pushing me gently back on the bed.

"You forget I'm currently still stronger than you." I joke, sticking out my tounge.

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**A/N Hello lovely reviewers! I am so glad that you all liked it, and found it funny! The reviews were all so sweet, and I was very happy to see I had eight followers too! So i promised I would update by today if i had five reviews, so I did! So another five reviews until I update please! Thanks again ;') **

**To **ElectricSocks** - Aw, thanks :D *hands cupcake* **

**To **kitkat2001** - Thank you! :D *hands cupcake* **

**To **Emmettxbellax** - Thanks! Thank you for letting me know, I didn't realise, and have changed it! *hands cupcake***

**To **LittleMissVictorious** - Aww thanks! :D *hands cupcake***

**To **BayDear** - Thank you! *hands cupcake***


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